A Bullet for My Valentine

There is no love in this world, there never was, and never will be. Many of you maybe shocked, most of you may feel indifferent, some of you might be even angry but certainly at least few of you will agree to what I say by the end of this post. Lets first delve for the sake of the ignorant few ( number will be confirmed) inclusive of myself into finding out what truly is love. Google my true and loyal friend who has never let me down actually let me down when I googled for love, the first link was for a love calculator that in its own words "Calculates the chance on a successful relationship between two people" , this actually sums up how many individuals look at love, it always involves two people ( not necessary of the opposite gender) and is based on probability. I tried this calculator to find its authenticity and found out some interesting facts, I have a 66% chance, which is interpreted as reasonable with Katrina Kaif !! there is no way to actually test this out :P so I delved deeper into my intellectual and tried out some existing couples like the Ambanis, Pitts, Woods O_o etc, various results popped up which were not very satisfactory in either direction. (full report on the results will be shared in a separate excel sheet soon). I still was kind of very bored by this time so attempted to check out my compatibility with the latest girl I was smitten by, no way I am going to name here :P, so now to the results a whopping 77% yeah !! I was overjoyed and happy cause the reading interpreted this as really good chance, i ll take 77 any day as I believe anything above my Btech CGPA gives me a fighting chance. I ponder upon this a long time and call her to fix a date, my lucky day what could go wrong ? Alas! I was turned down to my horror, then I came to a conclusion love is nothing but a hoax.

No matter what the movies ( most acclaimed source of information) have taught love as such does not exist and true love is as improbable as the Gandhi family letting go the reins of power at INC. Let me first introspect myself why I don't believe in the concept of love, its because I see myself as a human and I am selfish and hence deduce that all humans are selfish so there is no scope for love. When you are selfish you cannot love at least by the definition of it. When left between the choice of his own survival and a so-called loved ones man would always choose himself when it is made pertinent that he would be neither honored after death nor bestowed upon by any heavenly grace for his act of sacrifice. I myself wouldn't do it even if I was offered both, these tendencies of mine are a story for another day lets come back to my title why would I reserve a bullet for my valentine.

Before you all get panicky and start calling all the girls you know I know and caution them not to go out on a date with me, probable psychopath and a definite sociopath, I'd like to assure you that I have no dates planned for the day and have no hope for the near future so pull down that mask of social responsibility and have some peace in life. I said I would keep a bullet in hand for my valentine but did not say I intend to kill her or harm her in any way, but neither did I say that those intentions might change according to the act she puts up. There are essentially three types of valentines the First-timer, the Hard-corer and finally the Don't-carer, this categorization can be extended in principle to all girlfriends and now lets discuss each type and what point the bullet maybe fired.

For the first-timer this is a wonderful period she is either at the prime of her youth or at least others perceive her to be at the prime of her youth, either way she is quite happy to be on a date, probably she is quite new to all this and will try to impress the guy i.e. me as much, she dresses impeccably not out interest in me but show that what I am paying for here ( I sincerely meant the bill :P), I am kind of glad to have such niceness around me and I have lot of things to say and she is most of the time excited and interested even though she may fake it at times, I am happy. Then the delve into her never ending problems, which are a mole compared to my mountain but nevertheless I comfort here but she goes on and on, finally she brings up the unspeakable the ex-boyfriend !! FIRE !! She is dead, I quietly bury her in my backyard and as we are new to each other no one actually knows we were together so unsuspected I walk Scot-free \m/

The Hard-corers as the name indicates have been through this routine for ages and have mastered the art of deceit and trickery, they know the way to a man's wallet is through his heart so there is lot of positive emotion involved and the evening fun and frolicking, if you are lucky it may go into some actually doing too, your narrator here hasn't been lucky enough, never here is a appropriate word. Nonetheless after all the fun and in hopes of further fun and lesser strain on the finances and slot for another date is pursued but now it would appear that I have done the unspeakable so a change in character so dramatic like the Atlantic in the novels, all kinds of excuses and I ll call you when I get back, FIRE !! you have never called back ever in her whole life so it befits her, throw her into the Bay of Bengal and hope that the her never ending string  of agitated ex-boyfriends keep the cops running around in girls before you either flee the country or end up a VIP.

The Don't-carer is a weird date, she is always listless and lost in her thoughts and the only reason you asked her out was because you were either desperate or she is super hot. She probably accepted your date cause she wants get back at her boyfriend for cheating against her, whatever the reason the gentleman I am will try to entertain her as much as possible even though I ll be hoping to use the proverbial bullet at any point of time, sometime you realize this is all an act to test your real commitment so you tend to try harder never the less, these end fine and sometimes the check is even picked up by her but when you are about to finish off your goodbye with a peck on her cheek you are shoved away O_o FIRE !! I kill myself to be so hasty and not knowing what the right moment is albeit its in the foot so she scampers to me like a hunted hare does to the bushes full of guilt and the girl is mine \m/

So, my dear readers its always good to carry a bullet with you on Valentines day but don't forget to have a gun in hand too, in some parts of the world like Latin America and the Indian students in Australia you better carry it even if it isn't valentine's day. The Saint was a good man, maybe the best of men but he should have used other means to unite the love-lorn adolescents than through matrimony ( I hope you get my drift ;) ). Nonetheless I am kind of sorry that the post is so late into the Day, I know most of you have already been victimized :P but for the others beware and for you beware the next year 

signing off,

The true son of Mars

God of War and Hate

Lord Voldemort  

The Freshman Conjecture

It has been a week now, since the new semester had begun. I am quite settled into my new room (took me long enough), already started bunking classes and forwarding messages to infinite number of contacts for a proxy, intoxicated myself, played football, "interacted" with few freshies, gossiped with all my friends (yes chit chatting is gossiping even for men) and wrote my first Blog!! I must remind you that the sequence presented is in no way chronological or relevant, it just a list. Like all lists every list will have a highlight, mine was the interaction part with the freshman. You may ask me if I haven't interacted (lets cut the crap who are we bluffing ragged is the word) with freshies before, the answer is yes I have, so what was special this year, nothing at all !! All freshies are the same they are plain dumb !! I don't mean they are stupid or brainless or speech impaired, they are dumb in the sense that they don't speak their mind out, never ever with any one, hence they are psychologically dumb albeit not physically. What do you call a group of clueless freshies?? ans: A Dumb !!, (btw interesting fact : a group of rhinos is called a crash 0_o).

A semester had gone by since I have written the previous paragraph, it was under wraps due to various reasons mostly owing to my laziness, nonetheless here I am trying to revive this dead blog. The title of the post "The Freshman Conjecture" might have shed some light on what would be its premise, a conjecture is a proposition that is unproven but is thought to be true and has not been disproved for the benefit of people who did not know what exactly it meant which maybe 90% of you (I was one among you too until I googled it). Conjecture is mostly used as a mathematical term than in other contexts but I feel its appropriate to use it here because after getting dome with their first basic course in mathematics MA101 half of them would have developed an aversion towards the subject and the other half would have cleared the course. I was just joking even those who could clear the course would kill their Profs if promised that it would be a perfect crime. 

When I was envisioning this post about the freshman conjecture we had good net speeds and I was able to use Facebook but now even the Lan speeds suck and FB is blocked, it blasphemy !!  I am not sure if the post even reaches its audience. Many blame the freshies for the slow LAN but we have to blame ourselves for no educating them enough about the use of LAN and the social responsibility of sharing that you carry there for the general well being of the system. I don't think this problem would last longer as its only difficult when the offspring is young for the herd to take care of it but once its gets up on its feet it will start tottering along.

Back to the necessary of blocking Fb, it uncalled for because simply people are addicted to it and when you want to stop an addiction you just don't cut-off the source but also provide a rehabilitation. I still don't actually understand why it was blocked, yes blocked is the word something about resolving issues with hostel net is just a ruse, social networking is a form of expression and the last time I checked in spite what seems to go around in this country the freedom of expression is still a basic right. They may argue that net is provided only for educational purposes and not otherwise but how could any one judge what's educational and what is not, and if so how many social networks are they going to block. Fb has come to a point where it has surpassed email as a preferred choice of online conversation and sharing, I see in the near future groups similar to google groups for courses are made on Fb too. 


Why this Kolaveri di ?
You know even as I type this post, people are trying to find effective ways to go around the system to access Fb, so stop trying to restrict us and start doing something else which would be more productive. Let get it to your face people are selfish and lazy and students are people not a herd of cows.


I am sorry that we have moved off our theme but the issue needed to be addressed. Coming back, I think I should wrap things up by saying that all freshman are foolish and they remain foolish until they become sophomores and interact with the new freshmen and realize how foolish they really were.
 This my friends is the freshman conjecture, the freshman always seem dumb to their seniors because the seniors too were freshman hence dumb at some point of time, this may seem like the title of a hindi soap "Kyunki Saas bhi kabhi Bahu thi" but nevertheless true.










  

The Seven Dreams

There were bodies all around, but still the war did not seem it was going to end

soon. He had killed only two men, what else can be expected of a common farmer

who has picked up the sword to protect his town. The enemies were fierce and on

horseback. Slowly he began to realize that his death was imminent. That’s when he

saw the terrifying figure approaching him; two of his fellow mates were ripped apart

with a single slash. Now he could see the scar, his blood turned into ice and before he

could raise his sword searing pain shot through his heart. After pain came silence, an

everlasting peace which seemed to envelope him. “Where am I?” he asked. “You are

still bounded here.” “Who is it?” he began to shout and woke up with a jolt.

David Fletcher looked at his table clock and it read 3:05 am. He touched his

forehead and felt himself sweating profusely. He knew he was having nightmares again

but surprisingly he could remember every detail in this one, especially the scared face.

After some restless goggling he could see that scar again on his computer screen.

Below the face it read Attila the Hun. It was already five in the morning David slipped

back into sleep with no nightmares.

Later that day, mulling over his dream David read about everything the Internet

could offer him on Attila. He wondered what the dream signified. David Fletcher was

a hardworking law student in the New York Central University and his busy schedule

meant that he tires quickly for bed. After a lite dinner that evening he was back in his

bed.

The crown of thorns was beginning to pierce his skin. There were lash marks all

over his body; raw flesh could be seen in places. But still he seemed to endure the pain

calmly. Finally they reached the hill where was to be crucified. The cross was setup and

 he was hoisted onto it. The first nail was driven through his palm and then through the

other then finally near his ankle. He could see women crying at distance, from which he

 could recognize his mother, a smiled drew upon his face. Slowly but surely life began to

drain out of him. He could see light now. Is that you father? Yes my son you have done

well. Thank you my father shall I return to you now? No, my son you are still bounded.

When David woke up next morning it did not take him much time to realize that

he dreamt of the crucifixion of Christ and what he dreamt himself as the Christ. He

wondered maybe the Sunday sermons were affecting him. He followed his daily routine

until later in the evening he lied on his bed and thought of what he might face that night.

He had no idea.

Starring at the blank canvas, he had no inspiration to draw. His subject, a young

mistress of a wealthy patron was shuffling uncomfortably. Her beauty was undeniable,

but still it could not inspire him. He had long stopped drawing portraits but a request

from one of his most influential patron could not be put down. He sent her away and

thought of how to finish the painting, it was then he had an idea. He set up a mirror in

front the canvas and started drawing himself in feminine form. He thus spent four years

 on it and carried it with him until his death. The painting had a sense of mystic around it

and everyone who saw it were intrigued by it. The woman was none other than ‘Mona

Lisa’.

First Attila, then Jesus and now Da Vinci, David was confused. He could not

think of a reason why he was having such strange dreams. He passed most of the day

wondering. He could still vividly remember all three scenes as if he was there for real.

He spent half the night wondering what his next dream would be before drifting off into

deep slumber.

It was certainly the English countryside, the lush green grass and the mid-

summer weather proved it. A house could be seen with a well-kept orchard at the back.

There under one tree a young man could be seen who looked like he whiled away most

of his summer pondering. But the young man knew what he done that summer could

change the world forever. Still a final block seemed missing; he was searching for it in

his mind under the apple tree. The tree as though it felt that it needed to inspire him

let an apple fall on his head. It worked! Now he understood, now he knew what was

happening, he discovered the truth.

Isaac Newton! No way but still he could fell the bump on his head. He concluded

that he was seeing things and fixed up an appointment with the psychiatrist the next

week. Involuntarily he started to wait eagerly for night to come.

He could smell the rotting flesh around him. He looked up to see around him,

men and women were slowly rotting away to death. Where was he? In hell? No there

are soldiers guarding him. They had Nazi badges on their shoulders. He was in a Nazi

concentration camp. Now he and some other men are being escorted to the firing

range. He knew what his fate would be; he could hear the words load, aim and fire! In a

second his body was riddled with scores of bullets, he dropped dead there.

David did not wake until later that afternoon and when he did wake up he cried

 his heart out and he slept again. He woke again that evening starved and cleared out

 most of his reserves till he was full. He felt drowsy but did not dare to bat an eyelid.

  Finally his body took over and he was soon sleeping like a child.

There were cheers all around; people seemed to have gathered from all walks

 of life. There was a huge Dias in the middle of the stage; it looked like a presidential

 address. What was he seeing? A black man approaching the Dias as if he was the

 president this could not be possible. He looked at him more closely it was him! A little

 older version of David himself. He could hear words from the Dias “ If there is anyone

 out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still

 wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power

 of our democracy, tonight is your answer."

When David arouse the next day he had his answer and he knew more than ever

 what his ultimate goal would be. He now realized what all his dreams meant, they were

  all parts of his avatars and he was in a cycle of rebirths since eternity. He finally found

  purpose and meaning of life through the experience of his previous births or rather

 deaths. That night David went to bed contentedly as he did not expect any more avatars

  visiting him.

He slowly opened his eyes and walked up to the window to let daylight in. He

 stood there enjoying the view of flying cars dodging traffic; he turned around to instruct

  his robot to get him a coffee…

--- Ravi Teja Palla

P.S. This piece of fiction was written quite a while ago and some of you must have already read it, for those who haven't, hope you enjoyed and please leave you valuable comments in either case.

Alone and Bored !!

Sitting alone in my room , I wonder aloud
what have I done in my life to be proud.
Yes I have had my share of success and joy
but heart in heart i'm nothing but a presumptous boy. 


I am celebrated in my family as the destined one !!
Sure to bring fame to the clan by the time he's done.
Friends? Oh I have many with whom I had lots of fun,
enemies too quite a few at such a young age had I won.


The story of my life is a wierd and long,
two decades old and I have already smoked up bong!
I like poems which are short and happening,
but following grammer is not my thing.


Why I have to write this poem I have no idea,
but share it I will in all kinds of social media.
Goodbye for now as I think I have bored you enough
hopefully next time you will get to read some interesting stuff !!


-------  Ravi Teja Palla


P.S. : my first poem in this blog :D , not a very serious effort as you can see, strewed together some random thoughts into some rhyming flow of words ( at least attempted). Be free to give your views and reviews. 

Aarakshan (Reservation) !! My views

Wipro chairman Mr. Azim prem ji's comment on reservation

Wipro chairman Mr. Azim prem ji's comment on reservation: Good one.. read on....*   * I think we should have job reservations in all the fields. I completely support the PM and all the politicians for promoting this. Let's start the reservation with our cricket team. We should have 10 percent reservation for Muslims. 30 percent for OBC, SC /ST like that. Cricket rules should be modified accordingly. The boundary circle should be reduced for an SC/ST player. The four hit by an SC/ST/OBC player should be considered as a six and a six hit by a SC/ST/OBC player should be counted as 8 runs. An SC/ST/OBC player scoring 60 runs should be declared as a century. We should influence ICC and make rules so that the pace bowlers like Shoaib Akhtar should not bowl fast balls to our SC/ST/OBC player. Bowlers should bowl maximum speed of 80 kilometer per hour to an SC/ST/OBC player. Any delivery above this speed should be made illegal.   Also we should have reservation in Olympics. In the 100 meters race, an SC/ST/OBC player should be given a gold medal if he runs 80 meters.   There can be reservation in Government jobs also. Let's recruit SC/ST and OBC pilots for aircrafts which are carrying the ministers and politicians (that can really help the country.. )   Ensure that only SC/ST and OBC doctors do the operations for the ministers and other politicians. (Another way of saving the country..)   Let's be creative and think of ways and means to guide INDIA forward...   Let's show the world that INDIA is a GREAT country. Let's be proud of being an INDIAN..   May the good breed of politicians long live.. *

The above article is attributed to Mr. Azim Premji, a great man no wonder, it has been hugely popular in social networking sites over the past few months, enthusiastically shared and commented upon by 50.5 % of the population ( you know what i mean, after all we are in the land of 49.5 % reservation ) and ignored by rest of the population. After being a silent spectator to this drama, i have decided to dissect the article and the issue for good.

The popularity of the article arises from the fact that its witty and hypocritical and it glorifies the supposed ( no way i'm not taking sides yet ) injustice to the unreserved classes. The analogy with cricket too helps as we are a country where cricketers have alternating statuses of demigods and demons, almost everyone will have a connect with it. What more it ends with a patriotic sign off and the sarcastic political remarks add on too, absolute brilliance I say !! On the other hand conceptually i feel the article is farce, it only shows one side of the reservation coin and conveniently leaves the other.

You can't understand when you are feed from a tv screen, you can't see the things that I can see. 

 Truth is a powerful weapon, both its presence and absence can wreak havoc, I intend to explore the truth now. Lets take Mr. Premji's example, it would appear the rules thus tampered in a game of cricket would mean utter injustice to other players but the example fails to consider other facts outside the rules. What if the players were randomly picked and had no control in which team (read caste) they would placed into. What if for centuries some teams we made to sit outside the boundaries and just watch the game and do nothing else or even worse they weren't even allowed into the stadiums, and what if the these teams lost even before they played, as they weren't allowed even to play with higher teams.

 Lets leave the past lets come back to the independent cricketing times (Independent India) when there were no longer any restrictions according to the laws at least. Even then there was still gross injustice as all the practice pitches belonged to the so called higher teams, no entry !! The higher team players had a economic head start, even if the not so lucky players some how trained and excelled in ill equipped government pitches, when it came to the time for national selection( read power and opportunities), they were back stabbed again and again as most of the board members were "different" from them. But one thing was true, players from these teams had numbers and votes on their side, some visionary cricketers came up with tweaked rules to help them establish themselves to an equal level with the other teams in few years. Hence, the new rules were made and implemented. Initially the response was slow so the time frame was extended and then the rules became part of the game so reversion proposals would mean sacking of the board (read electoral defeat). Those days the rules were for a minority,around 20% of the teams, so the others really did not care, they still had lot of influence and men in the right places, they could beat those lesser teams any day any where even with the law protecting the others.

Enter the new era of cricketing, players in the cities no longer knew what it meant to play in the olden days, they were free and modern, all encompassing at least outwardly due to the fear of recuperation from the society. But, various dispirited practices still went on in rural pitches away from the eye of the rules. Even still it was fair enough and every one was happy, at least a majority of them. But the National Board is never happy, because it has get re-elected and for that it has to do something different every time, this time around it decided to pull out some old ( read 20 yr old ) statistical record of semi backward teams and decided to to create new rules for 27% of them O_o . The new category of teams were ecstatic and before the others could react the resolution was passed. Slowly, as the new rules were implemented, the unreserved (like the term :P ) felt the cringe, but, that is what the resolution aimed at right to empower the weak we need to disarm the strong??, or else whats the point ?? but any way they started revolting and creating a mess, but unfortunately for them their long established political influence could not help them this time and they were soon lulled into silence. But, the young players could not remain silent, not when they had Facebook accounts, they were going to "voice their views" and bring down this undemocratic Board using "likes". Some teams felt they too must be treated backward and demanded reservation, there is still lot of agitation on these issues. This is the real scenario of the example given by Mr. Premji now you can assess the true picture.

When this article came up, the young unreserved junta gleefully shared it, each with a snug sarcastically outraged comment, which they don't mean to intend ( i'm sure !! ). The very fact that these guys are able to share the post makes them a minority in the country and it reflects upon the opportunities and advantages they possess, so i ask them to stop crying and buckle up to face the truth. Reservation is a fact and you have to face it !! I remind each one of the ill informed fools out there that a reservation candidate does not mean in any way under trained or brain dead candidate, its a wrong perception unfortunately that even the most educated people have. One more myth is that reservation candidates are stealing the jobs and seats of unreserved classes, it not true they are just being protected so that their jobs and seats aren't stolen. 

It may be true that my views may not have a political, social or even ethical insight but I know one thing that works in this world and that is karma, and its a bitch ( sorry for the expletive used it as using such language is the in thing after Delhi Belly). I tell you all unreserved cry babies out there, your fore fathers got away with all theirs deeds and injustices, you should bear their burden now and suffer after all you did inherit their wealth and prestige without complaint. I feel that that reservation for the backward classes should and am sure will be continued in the future. Long live Reservation \m/, Long live India !!

P.S. : I remember one day,I was young still naive,I went to play cricket on the terrace of my friend's house, we had a nice game ,some fun time and good laughs too. Tired from the game, I asked him for a glass of water, he hesitantly went down stairs but after a while came back empty handed. The reason he gave me is still etched in my mind," my grand mom says that offering you water will destroy the purity of the household and i ought too take a bath now". I need no other reason to support any action to show these people their place under the sun, and  however unjustified and screwed up the plan may be, I'm in !!

Comments invited ... and no offense to Mr. Premji, he is an inspiration for me too !!

I also eagerly await the release of Prakash Jha's film on the same subject.

The Rise !!

So it all starts here, finally i decided to blog. I know nothing of blogging so i decided to Google it.
As our most popular and loved search engine almost often does the one of the top three results lead me to the wiki page on blogging, i have decided against forcing you with the tedious task of reading definitions and let be. All that i can say is that i have understood its nature. So WE BLOG....


Pure Joblessness !! this would be the number one reason for me to start this blog. Curiosity and enthusiasm are also some driving forces. Now the question arises what will i blog, the answer is Anything and Everything i have an opinion on ( at least thats what i plan to do). I have a weird sense of humour so bear with my PJ's ( poor jokes - a completely Indian term i believe). 


The Confessions of a Sociopath - Creativity is a god given gift, only a few people have it and i am not one of them hence the name of the page :P,  on a more serious note i do consider myself a sociopath. Quite a number of the readers may not know who a sociopath is, please don't confuse it with a psychopath which is totally different genre all together ( though i would love to be one), now back to Wiki's help for the definitions ....A sociopath is somebody who exhibits sociopathy, who behaves in a way that suggests a lack of conscience. Unlike the average human, a sociopath does not feel any sense of guilt or remorse when committing morally wrong actions or actions that their society deems unacceptable. Because of this utter lack of fear for the sanctions of society, sociopaths take advantage of the social system and use manipulation and amoral behaviors to obtain their goals. The types of behaviors they exhibit are those that would make someone with a conscience uncomfortable. Strong words for the feeble minded, but i am not the monster that they say I am, every one of us have a little sociopath in us, some more some less. Some don't even know they are but some do, its never beneficial for a normal sociopath to come out with his identity. But a professional one can always come out and try to change the world. I have decided that it was time for me to come out.


We aren't evil and all but we lack the emotional bridge of morality that has been embedded into the human society, from the time a child is born, he taught to be normal, to blend with the surroundings, even in excellence he asked to perform in fields which warrant excellence, the society he lives in even starts to think for him. Morality is a concept which is an absolute waste in my view, its only for the weak who are too timid to even think of a fight back. Don't assume that we are power hungry, strong elite few who are so extraordinarily talented that the society gives us a free hand in whatever we do, No we are weak too sometimes weaker than we show but we believe that ts the spirit that counts not the strength. Enough of my philosophical rants, lets move on to discover me.


I am a social prisoner tied down by the rules framed by this society to accept you as a normal part of it. As much as i try to be normal i try to gratify my basic instincts of life, lust, recognition and power all i do, have done and ll do have their basis in these instincts and nothing more. I'm selfish in my ways and have no moral values as they are defined by the society and if given a free hand to do whatever i want i will break every social barrier possible to gratify my instincts. I am capable of any evil possible but also any good possible only to justify my ends. If offered eternal grant of my wishes i'm evil enough to sacrifice the whole of human race for it, thats the extent of my evilness or as i call it the power that my base instincts have on me. And if to the justification of my ends mean that i sacrifice what is close to my heart for eternity, for the sake of the greater good i ll do it too. I should have been born as a God !!


So the first of my confessions has been revealed, there are more to continue, i ll basically voice my unconventional views about issues and incidents around me. I ask any one who reads this blog to feel free to voice their views on the content, albeit in a responsible and constructive manner. I hope to come up with a new post soon, we ll meet again then.

-- 
Ravi Teja Palla