A Bullet for My Valentine

There is no love in this world, there never was, and never will be. Many of you maybe shocked, most of you may feel indifferent, some of you might be even angry but certainly at least few of you will agree to what I say by the end of this post. Lets first delve for the sake of the ignorant few ( number will be confirmed) inclusive of myself into finding out what truly is love. Google my true and loyal friend who has never let me down actually let me down when I googled for love, the first link was for a love calculator that in its own words "Calculates the chance on a successful relationship between two people" , this actually sums up how many individuals look at love, it always involves two people ( not necessary of the opposite gender) and is based on probability. I tried this calculator to find its authenticity and found out some interesting facts, I have a 66% chance, which is interpreted as reasonable with Katrina Kaif !! there is no way to actually test this out :P so I delved deeper into my intellectual and tried out some existing couples like the Ambanis, Pitts, Woods O_o etc, various results popped up which were not very satisfactory in either direction. (full report on the results will be shared in a separate excel sheet soon). I still was kind of very bored by this time so attempted to check out my compatibility with the latest girl I was smitten by, no way I am going to name here :P, so now to the results a whopping 77% yeah !! I was overjoyed and happy cause the reading interpreted this as really good chance, i ll take 77 any day as I believe anything above my Btech CGPA gives me a fighting chance. I ponder upon this a long time and call her to fix a date, my lucky day what could go wrong ? Alas! I was turned down to my horror, then I came to a conclusion love is nothing but a hoax.

No matter what the movies ( most acclaimed source of information) have taught love as such does not exist and true love is as improbable as the Gandhi family letting go the reins of power at INC. Let me first introspect myself why I don't believe in the concept of love, its because I see myself as a human and I am selfish and hence deduce that all humans are selfish so there is no scope for love. When you are selfish you cannot love at least by the definition of it. When left between the choice of his own survival and a so-called loved ones man would always choose himself when it is made pertinent that he would be neither honored after death nor bestowed upon by any heavenly grace for his act of sacrifice. I myself wouldn't do it even if I was offered both, these tendencies of mine are a story for another day lets come back to my title why would I reserve a bullet for my valentine.

Before you all get panicky and start calling all the girls you know I know and caution them not to go out on a date with me, probable psychopath and a definite sociopath, I'd like to assure you that I have no dates planned for the day and have no hope for the near future so pull down that mask of social responsibility and have some peace in life. I said I would keep a bullet in hand for my valentine but did not say I intend to kill her or harm her in any way, but neither did I say that those intentions might change according to the act she puts up. There are essentially three types of valentines the First-timer, the Hard-corer and finally the Don't-carer, this categorization can be extended in principle to all girlfriends and now lets discuss each type and what point the bullet maybe fired.

For the first-timer this is a wonderful period she is either at the prime of her youth or at least others perceive her to be at the prime of her youth, either way she is quite happy to be on a date, probably she is quite new to all this and will try to impress the guy i.e. me as much, she dresses impeccably not out interest in me but show that what I am paying for here ( I sincerely meant the bill :P), I am kind of glad to have such niceness around me and I have lot of things to say and she is most of the time excited and interested even though she may fake it at times, I am happy. Then the delve into her never ending problems, which are a mole compared to my mountain but nevertheless I comfort here but she goes on and on, finally she brings up the unspeakable the ex-boyfriend !! FIRE !! She is dead, I quietly bury her in my backyard and as we are new to each other no one actually knows we were together so unsuspected I walk Scot-free \m/

The Hard-corers as the name indicates have been through this routine for ages and have mastered the art of deceit and trickery, they know the way to a man's wallet is through his heart so there is lot of positive emotion involved and the evening fun and frolicking, if you are lucky it may go into some actually doing too, your narrator here hasn't been lucky enough, never here is a appropriate word. Nonetheless after all the fun and in hopes of further fun and lesser strain on the finances and slot for another date is pursued but now it would appear that I have done the unspeakable so a change in character so dramatic like the Atlantic in the novels, all kinds of excuses and I ll call you when I get back, FIRE !! you have never called back ever in her whole life so it befits her, throw her into the Bay of Bengal and hope that the her never ending string  of agitated ex-boyfriends keep the cops running around in girls before you either flee the country or end up a VIP.

The Don't-carer is a weird date, she is always listless and lost in her thoughts and the only reason you asked her out was because you were either desperate or she is super hot. She probably accepted your date cause she wants get back at her boyfriend for cheating against her, whatever the reason the gentleman I am will try to entertain her as much as possible even though I ll be hoping to use the proverbial bullet at any point of time, sometime you realize this is all an act to test your real commitment so you tend to try harder never the less, these end fine and sometimes the check is even picked up by her but when you are about to finish off your goodbye with a peck on her cheek you are shoved away O_o FIRE !! I kill myself to be so hasty and not knowing what the right moment is albeit its in the foot so she scampers to me like a hunted hare does to the bushes full of guilt and the girl is mine \m/

So, my dear readers its always good to carry a bullet with you on Valentines day but don't forget to have a gun in hand too, in some parts of the world like Latin America and the Indian students in Australia you better carry it even if it isn't valentine's day. The Saint was a good man, maybe the best of men but he should have used other means to unite the love-lorn adolescents than through matrimony ( I hope you get my drift ;) ). Nonetheless I am kind of sorry that the post is so late into the Day, I know most of you have already been victimized :P but for the others beware and for you beware the next year 

signing off,

The true son of Mars

God of War and Hate

Lord Voldemort  

The Seven Dreams

There were bodies all around, but still the war did not seem it was going to end

soon. He had killed only two men, what else can be expected of a common farmer

who has picked up the sword to protect his town. The enemies were fierce and on

horseback. Slowly he began to realize that his death was imminent. That’s when he

saw the terrifying figure approaching him; two of his fellow mates were ripped apart

with a single slash. Now he could see the scar, his blood turned into ice and before he

could raise his sword searing pain shot through his heart. After pain came silence, an

everlasting peace which seemed to envelope him. “Where am I?” he asked. “You are

still bounded here.” “Who is it?” he began to shout and woke up with a jolt.

David Fletcher looked at his table clock and it read 3:05 am. He touched his

forehead and felt himself sweating profusely. He knew he was having nightmares again

but surprisingly he could remember every detail in this one, especially the scared face.

After some restless goggling he could see that scar again on his computer screen.

Below the face it read Attila the Hun. It was already five in the morning David slipped

back into sleep with no nightmares.

Later that day, mulling over his dream David read about everything the Internet

could offer him on Attila. He wondered what the dream signified. David Fletcher was

a hardworking law student in the New York Central University and his busy schedule

meant that he tires quickly for bed. After a lite dinner that evening he was back in his

bed.

The crown of thorns was beginning to pierce his skin. There were lash marks all

over his body; raw flesh could be seen in places. But still he seemed to endure the pain

calmly. Finally they reached the hill where was to be crucified. The cross was setup and

 he was hoisted onto it. The first nail was driven through his palm and then through the

other then finally near his ankle. He could see women crying at distance, from which he

 could recognize his mother, a smiled drew upon his face. Slowly but surely life began to

drain out of him. He could see light now. Is that you father? Yes my son you have done

well. Thank you my father shall I return to you now? No, my son you are still bounded.

When David woke up next morning it did not take him much time to realize that

he dreamt of the crucifixion of Christ and what he dreamt himself as the Christ. He

wondered maybe the Sunday sermons were affecting him. He followed his daily routine

until later in the evening he lied on his bed and thought of what he might face that night.

He had no idea.

Starring at the blank canvas, he had no inspiration to draw. His subject, a young

mistress of a wealthy patron was shuffling uncomfortably. Her beauty was undeniable,

but still it could not inspire him. He had long stopped drawing portraits but a request

from one of his most influential patron could not be put down. He sent her away and

thought of how to finish the painting, it was then he had an idea. He set up a mirror in

front the canvas and started drawing himself in feminine form. He thus spent four years

 on it and carried it with him until his death. The painting had a sense of mystic around it

and everyone who saw it were intrigued by it. The woman was none other than ‘Mona

Lisa’.

First Attila, then Jesus and now Da Vinci, David was confused. He could not

think of a reason why he was having such strange dreams. He passed most of the day

wondering. He could still vividly remember all three scenes as if he was there for real.

He spent half the night wondering what his next dream would be before drifting off into

deep slumber.

It was certainly the English countryside, the lush green grass and the mid-

summer weather proved it. A house could be seen with a well-kept orchard at the back.

There under one tree a young man could be seen who looked like he whiled away most

of his summer pondering. But the young man knew what he done that summer could

change the world forever. Still a final block seemed missing; he was searching for it in

his mind under the apple tree. The tree as though it felt that it needed to inspire him

let an apple fall on his head. It worked! Now he understood, now he knew what was

happening, he discovered the truth.

Isaac Newton! No way but still he could fell the bump on his head. He concluded

that he was seeing things and fixed up an appointment with the psychiatrist the next

week. Involuntarily he started to wait eagerly for night to come.

He could smell the rotting flesh around him. He looked up to see around him,

men and women were slowly rotting away to death. Where was he? In hell? No there

are soldiers guarding him. They had Nazi badges on their shoulders. He was in a Nazi

concentration camp. Now he and some other men are being escorted to the firing

range. He knew what his fate would be; he could hear the words load, aim and fire! In a

second his body was riddled with scores of bullets, he dropped dead there.

David did not wake until later that afternoon and when he did wake up he cried

 his heart out and he slept again. He woke again that evening starved and cleared out

 most of his reserves till he was full. He felt drowsy but did not dare to bat an eyelid.

  Finally his body took over and he was soon sleeping like a child.

There were cheers all around; people seemed to have gathered from all walks

 of life. There was a huge Dias in the middle of the stage; it looked like a presidential

 address. What was he seeing? A black man approaching the Dias as if he was the

 president this could not be possible. He looked at him more closely it was him! A little

 older version of David himself. He could hear words from the Dias “ If there is anyone

 out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still

 wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power

 of our democracy, tonight is your answer."

When David arouse the next day he had his answer and he knew more than ever

 what his ultimate goal would be. He now realized what all his dreams meant, they were

  all parts of his avatars and he was in a cycle of rebirths since eternity. He finally found

  purpose and meaning of life through the experience of his previous births or rather

 deaths. That night David went to bed contentedly as he did not expect any more avatars

  visiting him.

He slowly opened his eyes and walked up to the window to let daylight in. He

 stood there enjoying the view of flying cars dodging traffic; he turned around to instruct

  his robot to get him a coffee…

--- Ravi Teja Palla

P.S. This piece of fiction was written quite a while ago and some of you must have already read it, for those who haven't, hope you enjoyed and please leave you valuable comments in either case.

The Rise !!

So it all starts here, finally i decided to blog. I know nothing of blogging so i decided to Google it.
As our most popular and loved search engine almost often does the one of the top three results lead me to the wiki page on blogging, i have decided against forcing you with the tedious task of reading definitions and let be. All that i can say is that i have understood its nature. So WE BLOG....


Pure Joblessness !! this would be the number one reason for me to start this blog. Curiosity and enthusiasm are also some driving forces. Now the question arises what will i blog, the answer is Anything and Everything i have an opinion on ( at least thats what i plan to do). I have a weird sense of humour so bear with my PJ's ( poor jokes - a completely Indian term i believe). 


The Confessions of a Sociopath - Creativity is a god given gift, only a few people have it and i am not one of them hence the name of the page :P,  on a more serious note i do consider myself a sociopath. Quite a number of the readers may not know who a sociopath is, please don't confuse it with a psychopath which is totally different genre all together ( though i would love to be one), now back to Wiki's help for the definitions ....A sociopath is somebody who exhibits sociopathy, who behaves in a way that suggests a lack of conscience. Unlike the average human, a sociopath does not feel any sense of guilt or remorse when committing morally wrong actions or actions that their society deems unacceptable. Because of this utter lack of fear for the sanctions of society, sociopaths take advantage of the social system and use manipulation and amoral behaviors to obtain their goals. The types of behaviors they exhibit are those that would make someone with a conscience uncomfortable. Strong words for the feeble minded, but i am not the monster that they say I am, every one of us have a little sociopath in us, some more some less. Some don't even know they are but some do, its never beneficial for a normal sociopath to come out with his identity. But a professional one can always come out and try to change the world. I have decided that it was time for me to come out.


We aren't evil and all but we lack the emotional bridge of morality that has been embedded into the human society, from the time a child is born, he taught to be normal, to blend with the surroundings, even in excellence he asked to perform in fields which warrant excellence, the society he lives in even starts to think for him. Morality is a concept which is an absolute waste in my view, its only for the weak who are too timid to even think of a fight back. Don't assume that we are power hungry, strong elite few who are so extraordinarily talented that the society gives us a free hand in whatever we do, No we are weak too sometimes weaker than we show but we believe that ts the spirit that counts not the strength. Enough of my philosophical rants, lets move on to discover me.


I am a social prisoner tied down by the rules framed by this society to accept you as a normal part of it. As much as i try to be normal i try to gratify my basic instincts of life, lust, recognition and power all i do, have done and ll do have their basis in these instincts and nothing more. I'm selfish in my ways and have no moral values as they are defined by the society and if given a free hand to do whatever i want i will break every social barrier possible to gratify my instincts. I am capable of any evil possible but also any good possible only to justify my ends. If offered eternal grant of my wishes i'm evil enough to sacrifice the whole of human race for it, thats the extent of my evilness or as i call it the power that my base instincts have on me. And if to the justification of my ends mean that i sacrifice what is close to my heart for eternity, for the sake of the greater good i ll do it too. I should have been born as a God !!


So the first of my confessions has been revealed, there are more to continue, i ll basically voice my unconventional views about issues and incidents around me. I ask any one who reads this blog to feel free to voice their views on the content, albeit in a responsible and constructive manner. I hope to come up with a new post soon, we ll meet again then.

-- 
Ravi Teja Palla